If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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