is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you win again, gameday.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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