Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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