Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize