It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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