My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize