when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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