remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize