They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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