Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize