You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize