Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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