Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize