I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
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I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
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I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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