I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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