I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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