I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize