He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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