You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
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Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He better not be in your backpack
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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