How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
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That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
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Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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