I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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