So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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