You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Randomize