Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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