Welp...herpes.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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