i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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