I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
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