Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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