Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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