So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize