beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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