You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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