i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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