So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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