I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize