Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize