bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
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Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
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He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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