You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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