Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
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I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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