Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
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he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
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if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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