I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize