That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
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she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
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I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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