I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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