looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize