i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
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