dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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