Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
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Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
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I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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