Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize