question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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