Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize